People Can Change#
Adler's teleology argues that "regardless of what has happened in one's past, it has no influence on how one will live in the future." People are not controlled by their environment; what determines their lives is their subjective will to live in the present moment—what meaning they have given to the past.
Adler opposes the theory of causality, which suggests that people living in the present or future are powerless in their lives—they are entirely determined by past events and cannot change.
If we accept teleology, it means we acknowledge that people can change.
Personally, I think these views are a bit like chicken soup—whether you believe them or not is up to you, and I don't fully believe them. Both teleology and causality are too extreme. I believe reality should be the result of the interaction between objectivity (causality) and subjectivity (teleology).
Subjectivity is a Choice#
Psychological trauma is just a subjective feeling in the present moment. After all, not everyone experiences the same results from the same trauma.
Emotions can be a "tool" fabricated based on a certain "purpose":
- In order to avoid the risk of rejection when confessing one's feelings, one may "fabricate" shyness.
- In order to avoid the tediousness of reasoning or being trapped in circular arguments with parents, a child may suddenly throw a tantrum to stop communication.
Lifestyle: How someone perceives the world and themselves, and the concept of "ways of giving meaning" that brings these together. It refers to one's attitude towards life.
- Lifestyle can be understood narrowly as personality and broadly as worldview and philosophy of life.
- Personality gives the impression of being unchangeable, but worldview can change. This brings us back to the initial conclusion: people can change, and the key is to subjectively realize this.
- Whether it is personality or worldview, they are both results of active choices. They are not innate but chosen because they bring certain benefits—for example, acknowledging one's introverted personality means not having to worry about socializing.
Fear of Fear#
Being fixated on "what has been given" (the past), reality will not change. The present is like this, and so will the future be. The belief that one is unfortunate is not due to the past or the environment, nor is it because of insufficient abilities, but because of a lack of courage—the courage to make changes, the courage to possibly fail.
Because change brings unknown uncertainties, staying the same is simply dissatisfaction with the current situation. What people fear more is the unknown, so they choose to continue complaining about the current state.
- Choosing to stay the same, even if it is bad, is because past experiences are enough to deal with an unchanging life.
- Choosing to change means facing the unknown, where existing experiences cannot solve new problems, leading to a loss of control over life (think about it, an unchanging life cannot be called life at all).
"On the other hand, even if you take a step outside your home, you will become one of the 'majority' who goes unnoticed, an ordinary person in the vast sea of people, or even an inferior and mediocre person compared to others. And no one will pay attention to you. These are common psychological thoughts of those who shut themselves away."
How to Change?#
The first step to change is to love yourself. Accept yourself in the present moment. What matters is not what has been given to you, but how you use what you already have.
Then, have the determination to "abandon the current way of life." Face the issues directly, don't avoid risks, and stop making excuses; otherwise, life cannot change.
The important thing is to face the issues directly, not to avoid them. Have the courage to change the current situation.
Trying to change, dreams may shatter, but so what? This simple question is in front of you, yet you keep coming up with various "reasons why you can't do it." It is "yourself" that makes life complicated and difficult to find happiness.
Afterthoughts#
The world itself is not complex; it is "you" who perceive the world as complex. Continuously seeking reasons to prove your own beliefs is not because of the past or the environment, but because of a lack of courage—the courage to make changes, the courage to possibly fail.